after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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