It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
