So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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