Swine flu. Run for my life!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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