i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
