I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
