Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
