Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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