remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
