we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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