Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
