i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
