After last night, I could never be a politician.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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