I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
