some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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