She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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