The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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