so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
smell my finger.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
