Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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