Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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