I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
