Michael Bay diarrhea
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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