Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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