I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
