He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
