Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
