Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
