who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
