you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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