I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
