Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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