Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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