it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
