Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Too much gin, very little bucket
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
