so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
