I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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