Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
