So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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