If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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