Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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