Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
