He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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