i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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