Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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