I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I will be naked everywhere
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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