He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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