He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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