I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
