I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
