I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
